Good-bye to a Lovely Lady

Currently listening to: Nothing at the moment
Current reading: Every Christmas Story Ever Told (And Then Some)

My last posting was about the loss of a friend. Since then I have also lost a family member, my Mom's eldest sister, Aunt Ev (short for Evelyn). This all happened a few weeks ago now but its only today that I've had the time and the inner wherewithal to capture it all and type it out. She was in her late 80's. She suffered a stroke about 5 years ago and had been in a care home since then. I saw her this past summer and she was doing well, all things considered. We talked and reminisced and laughed till we cried... just like old times. Early in October she came down with a bout of pneumonia and had to go into hospital. While there, they determined that her kidneys were basically shutting down. Her wish was that if her condition should deteriorate that no extreme measures be taken. They kept her comfortable and she eventually, peacefully, passed on.

To say I was heartbroken is an understatement. That I couldn't get home for the funeral made it even worse. She was such a huge part of my life, from my earliest memories on. Staying at her place when we would visit St. John's, admiring her beautiful garden & greenhouses (she had a amazing green thumb), doing crossword puzzles, staying up late listening to her and Mom talk about their childhood and other experiences and yes, laughing till we cried. All this accompanied by cups of tea and some "lunch" (what we Newfoundlanders call a late night snack). I would hear the same stories over and over again and they never ceased to be hilariously funny every time, as though we were hearing them for the first time.

When my Dad was dying in hospital and Mom was spending all her time there, Aunt Ev came out from St. John's and stayed with us, basically taking care of me as I was only 9 and in school. When Dad passed away, Mom called the house and told Aunt Ev, who then had the unenviable task of telling me. I remember her looking me in the eye and telling me very gently, her own voice breaking with emotion, that Dad was gone. Then she hugged me. I remember going back into the living room and watching cartoons while she finished making my lunch. It was all so simple... and yet, I am so glad she was there and handled it so well.

Happier times saw me visiting her when we would go to St. John's for the annual Salvation Army Congress. We would stay at her place (which she was always in the process of re-painting, re-wallpapering, cleaning or something - it was always immaculate!) and she would come with us to the services. Sitting next to her was an exercise in self-control as she would invariably make hilarious comments during the course of the meeting that would have me wanting to laugh out loud! She had a wonderfully mischievious sense of humour! But she took her faith seriously nonetheless. She enjoyed a good "Hallelujah time" as they would have called it.

When I went to university, she would come out every Saturday during my first year and take me back to her home to do my laundry and make sure that I had at least one decent cooked meal during the week! When life took me out of Newfoundland, she would make a point to call me once in a while just to see how I was doing.

She was a very strong woman, strong-willed, strong in her convictions and unafraid of any physical work. And her love was strong too. I was her nephew but I was made to feel like a son. Aunt Ev, you were a lovely lady. I loved you dearly and I'll always miss you.

Feeling the loss in Dave's World,
DW